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You know the expression...

...a man's man -he's the leader of the pack, kind of man other men look up to, admire and emulate -he just doesn't get WHAT WOMEN WANT!

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Having a terrible chest pain since the 23rd. Dammit! And the doctor doesn't quite know what I have. Jesus Christ man...you as a doctor aren't supposed to let patients go while they feel twinges. Just what I needed for my horrible year. God, this year sucked so bad, nothing worked out. This year was completely useless and out of the ordinary. I really really hope 2009 gets better. I am in dire need of a feeling of success and a sense of achievement. Hopefully a couple of families will call me and I pick the right one in the end. This whole German lifestyle is getting on my nerves. A one-year-break would truly cheer me up. I am sick and tired of my roommates, they're godawful, my brother, he's out of is fucking mind, the pressure I am on at university and work. Negative vibrations everywhere. Gimme a break.
3 more months and I am out of here -I can't wait.

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I recognized a certain anomaly. I am getting the impression that one of my friends plays me off to another friend. I dunno whether she thought I am dumb and stupid not noticing or she does it on purpose. Well, just as I wrote before: friends are nothing else as your worst enemy. Aaahh....this remains me of a movie: "How to lose friends & alienate people"! Perfect example. Who as a matter of fact can you trust these days - NO ONE! Dissembled 'friendship' it is! Start lying to 'friends', make up stories, play them off. So far...I guess...I had/have one true friend. But I am not highly certain about the rest. Awkward.

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It like seeing someone for the first time, and you look at each other for a few seconds, and there's this kind of recognition like you both know something. Next moment the person's one, and it's too late to do anything about it.

28.12.08 15:32
 


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